I'm one of the lucky ones

(Yes, this is another post about something besides crafts. Forgive me, I occasionally have thoughts and I don't have another platform.)

Seeing the onslaught of misogynistic comments, threats and general filth slung at Ashley Judd recently because she dared to be a female sports fan with a strong opinion has reminded me, yet again, of something. I am truly lucky. In an age when 1 in 5 female college students faces an attempted sexual assault or a sexual assault (according to the 2007 Campus Sexual Assault study) I was one of the lucky women who, for the most part, avoided any horrifying situations. The worst thing that ever happened to me, was when I went into a bedroom at a house party because I had a headache, a man followed me into the room and roughly slapped my ass when, after he refused to leave, I got annoyed at him and left the room.
I've never had my drink spiked, I've never been sexually assaulted by stranger nor acquaintance, I've never been raped.
I've been similarly lucky online. I don't know if it's because I travel in stereotypically feminine circles online - knitting and crochet communities, parenting groups and resources for postpartum depression survivors - but to my recollection, I've never been threatened online. Granted, on communities I frequent where this is commonplace, such as Reddit, I make a habit of lurking rather than commenting. Despite enjoying video games, I have avoided communities where my gender would be revealed and provide me as a target for threats and ridicule.
What on earth is my point, you ask?
The point is, it's ridiculous that I can consider myself lucky for not having been raped or assaulted or threatened just for being female.
It's ridiculous that we as a society teach women tips for not getting raped instead of teaching men not to rape.
It's ridiculous that a female celebrity is inundated with gendered violence and death threats because she dared to tweet a strong opinion about basketball. Sure, people say awful things on Twitter all the time, (not that that is excusable) but whenever a woman angers the twittersphere, the violence is incredibly sexualized and misogynistic.
This isn't acceptable. No one should have to clutch their keys in the parking lot, or mistrust their friends, or censor themselves because they are a woman. We should be teaching our sons that it's unacceptable to rape, that women are people, not objects. The onus should not be on women to prevent themselves from getting raped. No one should have to file a police report because of threats on their life, because they tweeted about March Madness.
The good men in the world need to start policing the shitheads instead of pretending they don't exist. If you are my friend or my family, and a man, I'm calling you out. If you see another man acting like a misogynistic asshole online or in real life, call him out on it. He'll listen to you, because you, too, have a penis.
I know the men in my life are good men who don't catcall, don't rape, don't threaten women online anonymously. So this is my challenge to you, if you love women and the women in your life:  if you see it happening, say something. Speak out about it. The state of things is not acceptable.